Life is filled with millions of unique moments - some are challenging, many are routine, and a few are so lovely they really standout. This week held moments in all of those categories; I’ll skip the hard ones this time around and share the best.
Read MoreAt a recent presentation on the importance of human connection, the speaker asked us to grab a sheet of paper and a pen. He gave us 60 seconds to list our 4:00am friends - those fellow humans we could call in the middle of the night, for anything, without a second thought. It was a very quiet moment in the room while we each worked on our list.
Read MoreI got COVID for the first time this week - three years into the pandemic and three months after I left clinical medicine. It seems ironic that despite all the time spent caring for COVID-positive patients (and my family, who all got it earlier in the pandemic), it was a regional meeting with other family physicians that finally did it. Figures. That’s the ‘rona.
Read MoreCooking has always made me anxious. It’s not that I produce horrible food when I do make a meal, I just don’t seem to have the knack of getting all the parts of the meal to be finished at the same time. One thing my career change created was a little more time for projects, and I decided that would be my opportunity to work on reducing my anxiety and improving my cooking skills.
Read MoreThese days, it’s not hard to get me to eat my vegetables - I love vegetables! - yet the phrase has been rattling around in my head. Despite knowing what is “good for me” (like those veggies), it can be challenging to motivate, and I can no longer rely on a wise elder to command me into action.
Read MoreJanuary 1 holds such promise! New Year’s Day: a fresh start for everyone, everywhere. On this day, it is still possible to “get it all right” in 2023. Exercise more! Drink less! Lose weight! Save money! Learn Spanish! Get organized! The temptation is to change every bad habit into a good one, in one great effort, beginning on a single day, as if by wishing it were so, we could create a new reality for our lives. In my 50+ years, I’ve made my fair share of New Year’s resolutions. This year, I’m doing something different.
Read MoreI wondered what the last day would be like - would I be happy or sad? anxious or excited? exhausted or energized? Would the patient interactions on that day feel different than those of the previous 20 years? And what would life feel like the day AFTER the last day?
Read MoreThis week marked the beginning of a big change: I shared with my partners, team and patients that I will close my practice at the end of November. Our youngest child is a senior, and the nest will be empty soon. My work in value-based care will generously allow me the flexibility to travel while working. The COVID pandemic has been difficult for healthcare workers everywhere; it certainly contributed to my decision to take a break from clinical medicine. For all these reasons, the timing is right to make a career change to administrative medicine.
Read MoreChris and I took up tennis recently — or rather, we are laughing our way through learning to hit a tennis ball back and forth across the net and land it anywhere close to inbounds — and I hurt my finger last time we played. As I nursed it back to health, I thought of my dad as I caught myself wondering if my finger was broken and deciding to go the route of taking ibuprofen and waiting a few days before checking with my family doc. “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” definitely describes me.
Read MoreI went back to running outside this week as the weather in Kansas turned to spring. I am a planner by nature, so I always check on various must-haves before venturing out: temperature (which ranged from 80 degrees to snow this week!), wind (anything less than 10 mph is golden, up to 20 mph is tolerable), when the sun comes up and how much time that leaves me post-run before I need to be ready to roll for the day. I prefer to run at first light, in those perfect moments before the sun is above the horizon. Some days all the details line up, other days I head to the treadmill in my basement. Today was one of the perfect days: temperature low 40’s, wind speed 7 mph, sunrise 7:04am.
Read MoreI had a come-apart this week. Not familiar with the term? I first heard it many years ago from the nurse who helped me grow up as a doctor. It exactly describes the feeling when you lose hold of your emotions, previously tightly pulled together by the edges and held in check, and let go of all of them, all at once. If you witnessed it happening in a small child, you might call it a meltdown.
Read MoreToday is Saturday, November 21, 2020. It feels as if 2020 has gone on a very long time and we haven’t even had Thanksgiving yet. It feels past time for this year to be over, if only it would carry the pandemic away with it. I feel this way; I hear my family, friends, teammates and patients voice this sentiment; no doubt many people are tired of 2020 all over Rooks County, in Kansas, across the United States and the world. Before this pandemic can end, though, some things need to happen, and we all need to pitch in to help.
Read MoreThe year of campaigning is over, success found at this particular finish line. Now the work begins: a new team to meet, a culture to understand, a treasure trove of history to assimilate. And oh-so-much I don’t yet know! Fun jobs, all of them. I am looking forward to serving on the American Academy of Family Physicians board of directors.
Read MoreOne of my favorite photos is from August of 1989. I was moving to college for my freshman year on a hot summer day, all dressed up and inappropriately carrying a leather jacket for some reason known only to my teenaged self. The car was crammed to the seams with all the things I thought I might need, and I was ready to head out. Someone captured a picture of my dad and me, just before I left. We are both smiling at the camera and I remember how excited I was to take off and start this new chapter in my life.
Read MoreSo many things during this pandemic have been scary and negative: the overwhelming sense of something big and bad coming, the all present not-knowing of a new virus run amuck in the modern world, the fear for loved ones’ near and far, the anxiety of wondering if each decision made was the right one. It’s easy to get sucked into the down side of life and just stay there, wallowing in the worry.
Read MoreI am a data geek. Turn me loose with a huge spreadsheet, chock-full of information, and I can entertain myself for hours. The day I learned about pivot tables changed my life forever. (If you, too, are a data geek, this statement will resonate with your soul.) And my all-time favorite thing to do with a big pile of data is to translate it into pictures (graphs) that more clearly explain the story contained in all of those numbers and allow people to take action based on that information. In a way, this mirrors my love for medicine: take a large amount of information (a person’s history, physical exam, maybe some lab data), look at it from all sides, and translate it into a diagnosis (story) and action (a plan to make the patient healthier).
Read MoreLife is full. For everyone. We schedule each minute of our days, from waking up in the morning to going to bed at night, and are even encouraged to ensure our hours of sleep are adequate…everything is budgeted carefully. There is very little time to “just be” in most of our lives.
Read MoreI gave myself a pep talk recently before walking into the local grocery store. “You can do this. You should do this. Just keep swimming.” Why all the self-talk? I was going to wear my cloth mask into the store. And I was pretty sure I was going to be the only person in the store wearing a mask. Being alone in doing something feels awkward any day; during a time when every single person around you is under quite a bit of stress because of an ongoing global pandemic and a growing awareness of pervasive racial injustice, it gets downright hard.
Read MoreI am blessed with a fabulous boss/mentor/friend on the ACO side of my work life, and this year during my evaluation, she challenged me with some leadership stretch goals. A couple of them weren’t surprises to me; I have been working on them for a while and need to keep honing my skills. One of them struck deep, though: use empathy for points of view different than your own in framing your plan. I do that already…don’t I? The feedback presented an opportunity to up my game.
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