I wondered what the last day would be like - would I be happy or sad? anxious or excited? exhausted or energized? Would the patient interactions on that day feel different than those of the previous 20 years? And what would life feel like the day AFTER the last day?
Read MoreThis week marked the beginning of a big change: I shared with my partners, team and patients that I will close my practice at the end of November. Our youngest child is a senior, and the nest will be empty soon. My work in value-based care will generously allow me the flexibility to travel while working. The COVID pandemic has been difficult for healthcare workers everywhere; it certainly contributed to my decision to take a break from clinical medicine. For all these reasons, the timing is right to make a career change to administrative medicine.
Read MoreI tell my children that they will be able to share firsthand stories with their children and grandchildren about a significant piece of history: the pandemic in their lifetime. It gives me perspective for this very interesting time in my own life and helps me slow down and appreciate all that is happening and everything I am learning. COVID19 has made a big impression: in 2020, in the world, in the US, in Kansas, in the healthcare community, in my own work, family and life. Some changes are negative (fear, economic impact, morbidity and mortality). And some are positive. Those useful changes are the ones I am working to recognize, learn from and pivot toward in the longer-term.
Read MoreThis morning, I heard a meadlowlark outside. This bird’s song always makes me think of spring, and of hope. It made me think about all the meadowlarks in my own life, especially those who made such a difference in the last week. You know these folks, too: they build hope using their actions and words, they help us think of spring. We will make it to spring, and summer, and the end of the coronavirus pandemic. Thanks, meadowlarks. Keep singing; we need you.
Read MoreThings are different when you live half-way between Kansas City and Denver. You can’t pop down the street to a great Ethiopian restaurant or head to the mega-mall for a last minute Christmas gift, for example. And there is no anonymity; news in a small community travels quickly, and everyone is part of the community. The line between patient and friend rarely exists. My home address and phone number are in the phonebook; it wouldn’t matter if they were unlisted because everyone knows where I live anyway. And I’m good with that fact.
Read MoreI like to say “yes” to new opportunities. It is fun to try out different types of work, learn new information, stretch my brain and grow my abilities. Sometimes “yes” leads down an exciting new path and sometimes it results in a dead end; either way, I always learn something about myself and frequently about the subject.
As I took on more projects (and got older!), there were various points in my life where I could no longer stretch the hours in the day to cover the volume of work to be done. Initially, I did the same thing we all do: I tried to work harder + faster + better + longer to get everything done. Eventually, I realized my life needed a reset and sorted out a way to prioritize the current things on my plate and make room for the next new thing I really wanted to do.
Read MoreI started a gratitude journal recently - a reminder to myself that despite some crazy moments, many things in my life are GOOD. After just a day of jotting down people, events and things that I was thankful for, I felt lifted by the task. The list stretched quite long in the ensuing week, and I wanted to share a few of my favorites.
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