First Light — Ad Astra per Aspera

I went back to running outside this week as the weather in Kansas turned to spring. I am a planner by nature, so I always check on various must-haves before venturing out: temperature (which ranged from 80 degrees to snow this week!), wind (anything less than 10 mph is golden, up to 20 mph is tolerable), when the sun comes up and how much time that leaves me post-run before I need to be ready to roll for the day. I prefer to run at first light, in those perfect moments before the sun is above the horizon. Some days all the details line up, other days I head to the treadmill in my basement. Today was one of the perfect days: temperature low 40’s, wind speed 7 mph, sunrise 7:04am.

I started running (again) the day after my 49th birthday last summer. And by running, I mean moving slightly faster than a walk for brief periods of time followed by walking to recover, rinse and repeat. My promise to myself is to have a healthy 50th year on this planet, despite an ongoing pandemic, the lack of control in my life that situation represents, and the way it all makes me feel.

My first day, I made it two miles in about 30 minutes; I’ll let you do the math on my pace. The country roads around my home have hills and I was very out of shape. By the time late-fall weather forced me inside to exercise, I had added another half mile to my distance and improved my pace. I spent the winter simulating my country hills on the treadmill, pushing myself to gain stamina and go further. Some days kicked my butt, other days I had breakthroughs. This morning was a good day: I ran a 5K distance, set a new 50th-year PR, and feel pretty damn fantastic.

The return to outdoor running and my hills demonstrated the stark contrast between last fall and this spring. So gradually that I didn’t notice the change, I have improved my running endurance. I can go farther, run faster. And it feels good.

The pandemic has also been an exercise in endurance. I needed stamina to go the distance. Wear masks when I didn’t want to; stay home when I’d rather be out and about; give up big family gatherings for an entire year; avoid any possible risk of accidentally getting, then transmitting, COVID to my family or patients; try not to burn out from the weight of it all. In the winter, it was impossible to see how far I had come, how much strength I had built up over the previous months.

Today science is winning against COVID. Preventive vaccines are widely available; my family is immunized and protected. My world is brightening and the sun is coming up soon. It is spring, and I have seen first light.