So many things during this pandemic have been scary and negative: the overwhelming sense of something big and bad coming, the all present not-knowing of a new virus run amuck in the modern world, the fear for loved ones’ near and far, the anxiety of wondering if each decision made was the right one. It’s easy to get sucked into the down side of life and just stay there, wallowing in the worry.
Read MoreI am a data geek. Turn me loose with a huge spreadsheet, chock-full of information, and I can entertain myself for hours. The day I learned about pivot tables changed my life forever. (If you, too, are a data geek, this statement will resonate with your soul.) And my all-time favorite thing to do with a big pile of data is to translate it into pictures (graphs) that more clearly explain the story contained in all of those numbers and allow people to take action based on that information. In a way, this mirrors my love for medicine: take a large amount of information (a person’s history, physical exam, maybe some lab data), look at it from all sides, and translate it into a diagnosis (story) and action (a plan to make the patient healthier).
Read MoreLife is full. For everyone. We schedule each minute of our days, from waking up in the morning to going to bed at night, and are even encouraged to ensure our hours of sleep are adequate…everything is budgeted carefully. There is very little time to “just be” in most of our lives.
Read MoreI gave myself a pep talk recently before walking into the local grocery store. “You can do this. You should do this. Just keep swimming.” Why all the self-talk? I was going to wear my cloth mask into the store. And I was pretty sure I was going to be the only person in the store wearing a mask. Being alone in doing something feels awkward any day; during a time when every single person around you is under quite a bit of stress because of an ongoing global pandemic and a growing awareness of pervasive racial injustice, it gets downright hard.
Read MoreI am blessed with a fabulous boss/mentor/friend on the ACO side of my work life, and this year during my evaluation, she challenged me with some leadership stretch goals. A couple of them weren’t surprises to me; I have been working on them for a while and need to keep honing my skills. One of them struck deep, though: use empathy for points of view different than your own in framing your plan. I do that already…don’t I? The feedback presented an opportunity to up my game.
Read MoreI tell my children that they will be able to share firsthand stories with their children and grandchildren about a significant piece of history: the pandemic in their lifetime. It gives me perspective for this very interesting time in my own life and helps me slow down and appreciate all that is happening and everything I am learning. COVID19 has made a big impression: in 2020, in the world, in the US, in Kansas, in the healthcare community, in my own work, family and life. Some changes are negative (fear, economic impact, morbidity and mortality). And some are positive. Those useful changes are the ones I am working to recognize, learn from and pivot toward in the longer-term.
Read MoreThis morning, I heard a meadlowlark outside. This bird’s song always makes me think of spring, and of hope. It made me think about all the meadowlarks in my own life, especially those who made such a difference in the last week. You know these folks, too: they build hope using their actions and words, they help us think of spring. We will make it to spring, and summer, and the end of the coronavirus pandemic. Thanks, meadowlarks. Keep singing; we need you.
Read MoreI am fairly confident my children would describe me as a relaxed parent. I don’t get easily excited and tend to have very few hard and fast expectations. In terms of house rules, I can count them on one hand: don’t use tobacco products, don’t drink and drive, wear your seatbelt in the car and your helmet when you ride anything with wheels, and don’t take juice out of the kitchen.
Read MoreI am a work in progress and frequently enjoy trying new things to better my life. My latest self-help read encouraged me to improve in small, incremental ways. The book is subtitled “tiny changes, remarkable results: an easy and proven way to build good habits and break bad ones”. Content is easy to understand, intuitively makes sense, and holds the usual challenge of self-help books: you have to actually do the work in order to see the benefits.
Read MoreAs an early career family physician, I was blessed with three incredible mentors. From these family docs, I learned the science of medicine, and more importantly, I realized the necessity of practicing the art. I’ve been working on sharing my gratitude with those who make my life better on the regular, so I’m taking time to say thanks to those who shared so much with me and helped “grow me up” to be the family physician I am.
Read MoreI’ve “had my snorkel up” the last couple of months. My senior partner introduced me to the phrase after I started practice in Rooks County, so perhaps it is unique to our group. If you take a minute to reflect on the words, you’ll know what they mean: I was underwater and one big wave away from losing my lifeline to the surface.
Read MoreThanksgiving is my favorite holiday. For all of my adult life, I have preferred the quiet joy that the fourth Thursday in November brings over the hustle and bustle of Christmas. Over the years, my family built traditions that give me a moment of rest in this busy world and resonate with my soul. This year I noticed a new emotion as I think about the holiday: excited anticipation.
Read MoreThings are different when you live half-way between Kansas City and Denver. You can’t pop down the street to a great Ethiopian restaurant or head to the mega-mall for a last minute Christmas gift, for example. And there is no anonymity; news in a small community travels quickly, and everyone is part of the community. The line between patient and friend rarely exists. My home address and phone number are in the phonebook; it wouldn’t matter if they were unlisted because everyone knows where I live anyway. And I’m good with that fact.
Read MoreDid you know that an overwhelming majority of US adults want to talk to their family physician about their end of life wishes? And that only 15-20% actually do so? This paradox exists for many reasons: discomfort on the part of both patient and physician, culture that accepts a bare minimum of advance care planning, not enough time to have the conversation, lack of training for clinicians and fear on the part of patients they may be bringing the topic up “too early” for it to be meaningful.
The health care system in the US is highly advanced and has the capacity and technology to do a lot TO our patients. We should instead strive for a better system: medicine that provides care FOR our patients.
Read MoreThe first time I heard that computers would revolutionize the way we take care of patients, I was all in. As a family medicine resident, I served as the champion for our newly-installed electronic health record (EHR). I volunteered for any committee, task force or board that had the words “health” and “electronic” in the name or the mission. It took more than 15 years to disillusion me, but eventually, the shortcomings of electronic health records outweighed my enthusiasm. Should computers be a tool used in and by the house of medicine? Yes! Will we achieve success by iterating on today’s EHR options? Hmm. I have my doubts.
Read MoreI like to say “yes” to new opportunities. It is fun to try out different types of work, learn new information, stretch my brain and grow my abilities. Sometimes “yes” leads down an exciting new path and sometimes it results in a dead end; either way, I always learn something about myself and frequently about the subject.
As I took on more projects (and got older!), there were various points in my life where I could no longer stretch the hours in the day to cover the volume of work to be done. Initially, I did the same thing we all do: I tried to work harder + faster + better + longer to get everything done. Eventually, I realized my life needed a reset and sorted out a way to prioritize the current things on my plate and make room for the next new thing I really wanted to do.
Read More“I am so sorry for your loss.”
Words I say not infrequently in the course of my work.
“Everyone’s timeline for grief is different.”
I must have said the phrase a hundred times over the years.
Good things to say. My head knew they were: true, helpful, kind. Now my heart knows more.
Read MoreI have been practicing full scope, rural family medicine for 18 years now and I still don’t know everything I need to know. When I come upon a puzzle I don’t know how to solve, I joke with patients that I need to “phone a friend” to get help with the answer.
Some days, I am privileged to be the friend someone else is phoning for a tough problem; those opportunities allow me to give back just a little bit of the support I have received over the course of my career. If your number is in my contacts app, it’s time to say thanks. You know I’ll be calling you for more great advice real soon.
Read MoreI have always lived by the philosophy that my mission wasn’t to change the world; it was to change the space I’m in, to find nearby opportunity that I have the ability to impact and improve. I love the space I’m in now. I am ready to expand that space if selected to join the AAFP Board of Directors next year. And I accept the obligation of that position to further change the healthcare space for family physicians and their patients.
Read MoreI started a gratitude journal recently - a reminder to myself that despite some crazy moments, many things in my life are GOOD. After just a day of jotting down people, events and things that I was thankful for, I felt lifted by the task. The list stretched quite long in the ensuing week, and I wanted to share a few of my favorites.
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